My Spirituality Part II
Some background on me religious/spiritual wise:
I was raised by a primarily Catholic household. My mom was/is Catholic and my dad was/is agnostic (as far as I can tell). As a result, my mom was the one who primarily made us (my sister and I) go to church and attend a First Communion. I was really into it before the age of 10 or so. Around the time I was 10 or so, I realized I primarily attended church for the free donuts and hot chocolate the church gave out after mass. I didn't tell my mom this because I wanted the free food even if it meant going to Sunday School afterwards (again, free snacks at Sunday School).
When I reached high school, this more or less changed. My mom had given up forcing us to go church because none of us showed interested and my dad wasn't helping her. I also think she enjoyed the sleep in as much as we did. In my freshman year of high school, I was introduced to Wicca and Paganism. I joined a "coven" my freshman year. This was mostly to shock and because I had no idea how to handle my feelings. The coven consisted of one vampire, two Wiccans (including me), and a neo-druid (I refuse to say "druid" because there are no primary sources outside of the account of one Roman and he didn't go into much detail on what druids actually practiced. Pretty mucheverything that people think they know about druids was concocted in the 1800s and later.) I didn't remain in the "coven" for too long because I wasn't able to practice and because I really had no information on Wicca.
Then I moved to Virginia where I met a few Pagans and just settled on being Pagan/non-religious. I kept up saying I was Pagan for many years and only Pagan. I toyed a little with Wicca, but I wanted to do proper research before making a commitment to Wicca because I wanted to make sure it was right for me.
Insert now:
I have decided to commit myself fully to Wicca and even engaged in my own personal "initiation" ceremony. I am aware that some people do not view solitary Wiccans as Wiccans, but not everyone has access to a coven or even has the inclination to join a coven. I am one of those people. There are no covens in my area and, at the same time, I am still overcoming my social anxiety disorder so joining a coven is out of the question (for now) because I am scared to do any sort of ritual or worship with a group of people. I also don't want to be bound by the rules of a coven that may not sit right with me, though I would research the coven in question before joining/asking to join/asking to learn more about that particular coven.
Why Wicca?
Wicca feels right to me and I have, since I was 14, also felt a bit of a pull towards Wicca. The Wicca rede ("An' harm none, do what ye will") is also something that has been something that I have always internally felt. The worship of a god and goddess (or multiple gods and goddesses, even if you view them as aspects of the god and goddess) also made more sense to me than the worship of just one god or just one goddess. I never understood why there should be one masculine figure without a feminine figure or one feminine figure without one masculine figure.
I also have a little bit of freedom when it comes to rituals and how to worship the various deities. Yes, there are some basic rules of Wicca, but it's a very personal religion and it acknowledges that people are different so worshiping would be different.
Just, overall, it seems like the right religion for me and I feel good knowing that I have committed myself to it (including doing the rituals, observing the changing of the seasons, etc.) I feel more at peace and like all is right with the world.
I was raised by a primarily Catholic household. My mom was/is Catholic and my dad was/is agnostic (as far as I can tell). As a result, my mom was the one who primarily made us (my sister and I) go to church and attend a First Communion. I was really into it before the age of 10 or so. Around the time I was 10 or so, I realized I primarily attended church for the free donuts and hot chocolate the church gave out after mass. I didn't tell my mom this because I wanted the free food even if it meant going to Sunday School afterwards (again, free snacks at Sunday School).
When I reached high school, this more or less changed. My mom had given up forcing us to go church because none of us showed interested and my dad wasn't helping her. I also think she enjoyed the sleep in as much as we did. In my freshman year of high school, I was introduced to Wicca and Paganism. I joined a "coven" my freshman year. This was mostly to shock and because I had no idea how to handle my feelings. The coven consisted of one vampire, two Wiccans (including me), and a neo-druid (I refuse to say "druid" because there are no primary sources outside of the account of one Roman and he didn't go into much detail on what druids actually practiced. Pretty mucheverything that people think they know about druids was concocted in the 1800s and later.) I didn't remain in the "coven" for too long because I wasn't able to practice and because I really had no information on Wicca.
Then I moved to Virginia where I met a few Pagans and just settled on being Pagan/non-religious. I kept up saying I was Pagan for many years and only Pagan. I toyed a little with Wicca, but I wanted to do proper research before making a commitment to Wicca because I wanted to make sure it was right for me.
Insert now:
I have decided to commit myself fully to Wicca and even engaged in my own personal "initiation" ceremony. I am aware that some people do not view solitary Wiccans as Wiccans, but not everyone has access to a coven or even has the inclination to join a coven. I am one of those people. There are no covens in my area and, at the same time, I am still overcoming my social anxiety disorder so joining a coven is out of the question (for now) because I am scared to do any sort of ritual or worship with a group of people. I also don't want to be bound by the rules of a coven that may not sit right with me, though I would research the coven in question before joining/asking to join/asking to learn more about that particular coven.
Why Wicca?
Wicca feels right to me and I have, since I was 14, also felt a bit of a pull towards Wicca. The Wicca rede ("An' harm none, do what ye will") is also something that has been something that I have always internally felt. The worship of a god and goddess (or multiple gods and goddesses, even if you view them as aspects of the god and goddess) also made more sense to me than the worship of just one god or just one goddess. I never understood why there should be one masculine figure without a feminine figure or one feminine figure without one masculine figure.
I also have a little bit of freedom when it comes to rituals and how to worship the various deities. Yes, there are some basic rules of Wicca, but it's a very personal religion and it acknowledges that people are different so worshiping would be different.
Just, overall, it seems like the right religion for me and I feel good knowing that I have committed myself to it (including doing the rituals, observing the changing of the seasons, etc.) I feel more at peace and like all is right with the world.